can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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