It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
