like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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