It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
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