Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
