never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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