let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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