matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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