i just sent this text using only my big toe
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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