dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
