Sponge bath it is.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
