i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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