It's Friday. Sex?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
