Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I have fence marks all over my body
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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