They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
