is your mom at the bar?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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