My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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