Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
