Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
