before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
