Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
