This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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