Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
How's work?
Spinning.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
