Apparently you make a good broom.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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