I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
