The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
