I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
