why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize