Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
