hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
