I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
