Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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