Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
