i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
