why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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