I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I could make wine with my vomit
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
