so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
