So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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