I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
