So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
