Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
