Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
it's like heaven, but drunker
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
