textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I think a kid would responsible me up
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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