how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
