Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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