found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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