Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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