If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
