I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
