Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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