i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
