Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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