If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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