That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Your penis caused this!
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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