he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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