In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
